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Life with kids is absolutely amazing.
While I adore motherhood I’ve had to learn to let a lot go that I thought was oh so important before. These 10 things to accept about motherhood are so important to your happiness and health! By accepting things for what they are and prioritizing what really matters in my opinion in life, I get to be a happier and healthier individual. Plus my family gets to benefit from it too.
I’ve compiled 10 things to accept about motherhood to completely change your outlook.
Sure I love having a perfectly clean house, I love feeling completely clean at the end of the night, I enjoy waking refreshed in the morning… but those things almost NEVER happen anymore… EVER. I’ve had to learn that is ok. In finding this way of thinking I was able to let go of almost all my nit-picky OCD tendencies. Ah the blessings of motherhood.
Being a mom gives me an awesome purpose in life. I’m usually emotionally fulfilled, completely grateful, and excited to be blessed to have the most exciting and wonderful job life can grant you, being a mother! And I get to do it for the rest of my life. How awesome is that?!? So here are ten things that if you mentally accept and let go of I bet you’ll feel so much relief and happiness. Maybe you’ve already mastered all these, and maybe not, and maybe it will take time.
1. All the toys will not be in their correct places every night.
2. All the dishes won’t be put away every day.
3. A load of laundry won’t always be completely done in one sitting, and multiple loads maybe not even in one day.
I remember my single days of taking out every load warm, folding and putting everything away quickly and perfectly. (Neurotically perfectly… every different type of shirt had a different fold style and stack in each drawer.) When we had our own washer and dryer there were many days I was too busy having a great day with my daughter and totally forgot I left a load in the dryer until the next day when hubby would go to put one in.
Now that we have to use the washer and dryer in our complex and we’ve added another little girl to the mix there are some days when one of the loads just doesn’t get put away until the next day. Sometimes it hasn’t even been sorted. This is waaay better now that we’ve passed the fun and exhausting newborn stage but it still happens sometimes. When my first was a baby I’d stay up nights washing her tiny clothes by hand complete with spot treating (EVERY SINGLE NIGHT), hanging them to dry, and making sure everything was folded and in it’s place promptly. Now if it’s going to make frustrated kids, which in turn makes a frustrated mommy, we do laundry in blocks of time. And that is OK!
4. Enormous messes are going to happen.
5. Mommy doesn’t always get to be perfectly clean.
I’m never gross, I rarely stink, but especially new mommys aren’t going to get to be clean the way a single gal can every day. As soon as you think you will FINALLY get to wash your hair (or even brush it some days!) the baby will cry, the glass will break, or the children will bicker. It’d be great to have a nice detoxing bubble bath with candles and a hard drink. Or to get to shave everything that needs it, wash my hair, exfoliate, and moisturize all at one time.
But instead I usually complete a rushed body wash, shave a bit, rub on some face cream and get back to playing… or cleaning the bathroom. Oh and these things are all completed with kids under me in the tub as well! I’ve learned to accept and love it because one day I won’t be doing those things with my kids. I’ll have all the time in the world to pamper, and I’ll probably long for the rush of self-cleaning with my precious kiddos. I’ve learned to change how I look at these situations and it makes me a happier person. And if you really want to pamper you can totally create a spa day WITH your kids.
6. Things Are Going to Get Broken
Lots of things are going to break. And it just might be your favorite glass salt shaker that your mother gave you that you planned on decorating your whole dream kitchen around one day. Things get broken, dropped, scratched, lost… and it’s usually a simple accident by sweet clumsy little hands, still learning how to handle the world. Most things can be replaced or fixed. Not always, but most. How you react in these times can be another chance for your child to learn how to appropriately place value on things. Don’t get me wrong, I feel upset when some things break, but I’d feel more upset by breaking my impressionable and sensitive child’s heart by overreacting.
7. Sleep will never EVER be the same.
I’ve heard many moms tell me their kids have slept through the night or stayed in their beds from ridiculously young ages. They are either extremely blessed, or lying… or MAYBE being forgetful. My first daughter didn’t even START sleeping through the night until 18 months. My second is that age now and kiiind of did one night two weeks ago… for the first time. Even when they do sleep I still check on them throughout the night. Placing limbs back in beds and tucking them in again. I’m usually pretty exhausted. That’s why we have coffee and exercise I guess.
Some nights I’m so tired I want to cry… rarely, but it does happen. And I just have to remind myself, my poor little one must be even more tired than me, no wonder she’s crying. All the gifts that I get from being a mom outweigh sleepless nights. Learn to rest when they rest if you can. So much easier said than done. Learning the Danish practice of hygge and incorporating it into your life with kids is an awesome way to feel more relaxed AND bond.
8. Your personal activities, social events, and date nights will change or disappear.
Motherhood is all about multitasking. I love getting out on the court to hit balls with my hubby and I love diving in the ocean for hours. I love playing any sports really. Those aren’t really going to work until the kids are older. Time flies and once they’re three you’d be amazed at how much you can do again, but until then some of your favorite passions and activities will have to wait. Unless you like getting a babysitter which is fine (I AM a babysitter!) but we’re just not those people.
If you have a social life (I don’t, but that’s my choice), or like eating out that will change too. You will find you’ll be much happier enjoying a day at the zoo with a moms group than you would dragging your kids to places they don’t want to be or enjoy. There are lots of ways to incorporate your kids and have fun with them too! Even exercising is super simple to do with your kids if you have the right knowledge and really fun! (Follow the link for Exercising with kids 101!) Even “date nights” can involve the littles.
9. Bathroom time is no longer private.
It was necessary to get used to this really quick as I’m sure most moms have to, but do you realize you’ll be pooping in company for years? I had to get over myself really quickly. I used to be ridiculously private with weird things like plucking my eyebrows, putting on deodorant, and shaving. They were for me only to see. Well that ended quickly and made me a more easygoing person. We all do everything that was once so private. After all, everybody poops.
10. Your kids are going to have bad days.
I want every day to be wonderful for my children. I want them to always be happy, cooperative, and kind. That is beyond unrealistic. I spend many days talking with my daughter about how to speak kindly, how to change her own attitude and mood, and how to help me to help her so we can all have a good day. We all wake up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes. We all get overly tired and cranky. In a family it’s really hard not to get sucked into the other member’s energy and moods. It’s hard to react in a different way than you are being acted toward. Kids are sometimes moody, tired, and hungry. (Husbands too… and though I hate to admit it. Sigh, Moms also.) Even sweet little angel children like mine (**beaming mommy face**).
I’m still working on this one, I’ve gotten amazingly better in the past year but I’m still learning. Don’t let their bad mood become or affect yours. But do your absolute best to direct them the other way, to cheer them up, to point out behaviors and give them alternatives.